„You are loved“.

Words you sometimes have to keep reminding yourself of.
You are loved.

You are loved by your family, your friends, by people you don’t even know that you are important to them. Are you even aware of that? Am I even aware of that?

I think that we take these very important things for too granted and that is why we are not aware of that. But you shouldn’t take it for granted, because all of that can leave as fast as it came. And the feeling of not knowing why that’s the case is very frustrating. At least in my case. Ask yourself why these people love you? Why are you important to them?

Answering the question yourself might be a bit difficult. If that’s the case then just ask the people that are dear to you. Because “You are loved” means so much more than that.

“You are loved” is something that you should confront yourself with from time to time.

Sometimes when the guest and his stupid attachment appear again, they tell myself that I’m worthless, that no one loves me, and that I’m not worthy of love.

I’m not worthy of love (or so I tell myself) because I am an incredibly complicated person. Sometimes I don’t even know why I act the way I act. Why I am quiet, withdrawn into myself but in the next second, it seems like I’m as happy as a fat kid in a candy store. BTW, I LOVE Candy. I don’t know why I can switch between day and night as automatically as every second that passes by. Sometimes I don’t even know why I do that. Has it something to do with my depression? Or is a big part of that because of my thyroid hypofunction? All of that shouldn’t matter. At least when it comes to me being loved. And much more important when it comes to loving myself.

I don’t want to open up another #bodypositive thread although the topic is important to me. What I want to say is that some of the darkest days are so dark that I can’t see for myself how wonderful, worthy, how unbelievable great I simply am.

Photo Courtesy: Natasha Fernandez // pexels.com

To my luck, I stumbled upon a youtube video by Jon Jorgenson.

In his video: Who You Are – A Message To All Women you can see a man standing on a stage. Who brought something back to life within myself of which I thought it was long lost. He simply told me these three words: “You are loved.”

Of course, I didn’t personally speak to him, since the video isn’t directed to only me. But it was his words that I listened to over and over again. Words that also scared me at the beginning. I listened to it everywhere I went. At that time at a very bad phase. I can remember how I was laying in bed, grabbing my earphones, put them in my phone and started the video. I closed my eyes and listened to what he had to say. At first, I didn’t believe a word he said. But the more I listened to it, the angrier I got. It made me angry because the video made me realize how bad I have actually lost myself. So angry that these 3:36 minutes felt so good that they actually gave me strength. But I also felt sad because I let myself sink so deep that by that time I didn’t even know who I was anymore.

It must have been about a year ago, or maybe two years when I found the video. One day I took a walk with my dog and once again I listened to the video that gave me so much strength. I was still in a phase of anger and desperation when it hit me so hard that tears shot into my eyes when I listened to it. Good for me, that by the time I walked my dog it was already dark outside and no one saw me. But the more I listened to it, the better I felt. At some point, I knew the words by heart. It helped me in overcoming a difficult time. Sometimes I forget that I am being loved, that I’m wonderful and all these things he says in the video. Sometimes I think that the guest in my head simply waits for a moment like that so that he can teach me a better lesson.

You are great. You are amazing. You are loved.

Sometimes you just have to repeat these words over and over again. At the beginning, you don’t believe in them, but with each time you do it is starting to get a little brighter in your dark world. And even now while it’s dark again it’s time to bring back the good in me.

I think you are amazing.

Thank you for your words:
Jon Jorgenson

 

Let me know how you feel towards this. Do you know you are loved? Do you feel unworthy of love? Why so? Of course, you can also send me an e-mail if you want a more private conversation. And if you feel like you are unworthy, check out Jon Jorgenson video.

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